There was a 7.0 earthquake in Haiti last week. It totally destroyed the whole country. Andrew and I went to Intervarsity on Tuesday and we were praying for all the people in Haiti. I kept feeling like we should be doing something. We're supposed to be God's hands and feet right? We're supposed to be going to the ends of the earth and caring for the poor and the needy. But what are we doing? Praying. Which is really good because we should be praying. A lot. But I just keep feeling like there's more. Why did God put us here on earth with such suffering and disaster? It's our job to help.
Andrew mentioned how so many people are asking why God would let this happen. And then the girl who was praying with us said we need to be asking why we let this happen. Why do we let the suffering continue while we sit in our nice comfortable homes?
FEAR.
That's the answer. Fear is what keeps us from going out and doing more for the poor and the needy. I understand the people who have jobs and families they need to support. But what about the people who don't. The people who don't have pressing responsibilities. They would be able to get up and leave for a week to go help an orphanage in Haiti. People like me.
Now that's scary. God told me to stay here and volunteer. He said I need to focus on my relationship with Him and He would take care of everything else. My job is to volunteer my time and energy in whatever way I can. And so far that's been nothing. I haven't found where He wants me to volunteer. It's really frustrating. I feel lazy and useless. What am I doing? Not much. But God has the greater plan.
But I still sit here and wonder what He's trying to tell me. Or if He's even trying to tell me anything specific at the moment. I really don't know. And to be honest, it scares me half to death. I can't imagine leaving here and going to an impoverished country where I don't speak the language and have no idea about the culture. I would have to sleep on the floor and eat who knows what.
Then I think of Paul. Did he have a permanent home? He seemed to be just traveling around all the time and teaching people. Did he ever worry about where he was going to sleep or what he was going to eat? God tells us specifically not to worry about such trivial things. But they really don't seem trivial to me. They seem pretty important.
Honestly I just don't think very highly of myself. I'm not sure I could do it. But if God calls me to do it, then He's going to give me His strength to do it. It's just that simple. It all comes down to faith. How much faith do I have? It doesn't seem like very much.
It's so easy to expect someone else to do it. I'm just not ready for it. I will be when I'm older and more experienced in life. I'm only 22 after all. How much help could I be?
I can be Christ's hands and feet. I can be the vessel that brings hope to orphans who just lost their family and their home. I can be the woman Christ calls me to be. A woman after His heart. I can be an example.
It just takes a whole lot of FAITH
